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#46026 - 01/30/12 05:56 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: MotorLaw]
John_Betong Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/19/11
Posts: 55
Loc: Bangkok, Thailand
My wife was mortified when her PIP breast implant ruptured & began slowly leakin' industrial-grade silicone. However, she's now had her nipple pierced, so we've been able to seal around the bath, shower tray and hand basin!


http://johns-jokes.com/joke-of-the-day/2012/January.html



Edited by John_Betong (01/30/12 05:58 PM)

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#46059 - 02/01/12 05:26 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: John_Betong]
lard-o-matic Offline
old hand

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1186
Loc: Lincolnshire, U.K.
I saw this on the net and laughed my arse off. To anyone who doesn't know, Waitrose is a supermarket that attracts a posher type of customer, which makes this even funnier.

_________________________
You couldn't buy me with a million babe

MHB3154

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#46060 - 02/01/12 05:29 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: lard-o-matic]
Motörheadbanger9 Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 3408
Loc: Leeds, UK
We've just got our first Waitrose in Leeds, its even worse than marks and bloody sparks!
_________________________
I know the law, I know how to die

MHB2957


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#46061 - 02/01/12 05:35 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Motörheadbanger9]
lard-o-matic Offline
old hand

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1186
Loc: Lincolnshire, U.K.
Do they call their customers 'c#nts' in Leeds as well?
_________________________
You couldn't buy me with a million babe

MHB3154

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#46062 - 02/01/12 06:17 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: lard-o-matic]
Motörheadbanger9 Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 3408
Loc: Leeds, UK
Most shops do...
_________________________
I know the law, I know how to die

MHB2957


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#46296 - 02/14/12 11:28 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Motörheadbanger9]
Juggernaut Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/12/08
Posts: 1766
Loc: Sweden
Not really a joke, but it's way off topic everywhere...
Seeing this you might think that I haven't been online here for at least a year or so...
_________________________
A headbang a day keeps Beiber away.

Motörheadbanger 2125 - a real fan

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#46302 - 02/14/12 02:37 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Juggernaut]
musicmatt2112 Offline
member

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 142
Loc: Essex, England
"it's not right, but it's ok", said Whitney Houstons coroner as he slowly unbuckled his trousers
_________________________
"Can we go home now"?

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#46422 - 02/21/12 06:03 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: musicmatt2112]
John_Betong Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/19/11
Posts: 55
Loc: Bangkok, Thailand

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#46435 - 02/22/12 02:16 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: John_Betong]
Bent Arm Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 249
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house.

As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

COLD BEER: $5.00
HAMBURGER: $10.00
CHEESEBURGER: $15.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $18.50
HAND JOB: $250.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.

She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.

“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you Sir?”

The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?”

She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes Sir, I sure am.”

The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly,

“Well then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.”
_________________________
A thousand nights I spent alone, solitaire to the bone
MHB3038

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#46565 - 03/01/12 07:49 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Juggernaut]
TotalMetal Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/18/09
Posts: 288
I was having a full blown threesome with these two dirty bitches at work. The blonde one was taking it up the arse while the black one was licking and slurping on my balls....Then the boss walked in. Needless to say I lost my job at the kennels!

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