Great ones crabby! I haven't got any new ones yet, will soon though

Some perv stole a pair of the wife's knickers of the wash line. I said to the police you can keep the friggin knickers but can I have the 28 pegs back.

Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says "whats that hairy thing mum?", Mum repies "thats my sponge". "Oh yes" says the boy, "The babysitters got one, ive seen her washing dads face with it!"

like it Callum very funny!!!!!

I've just discovered Twitter!

It's that sensitive area on a woman, between her twat and shitter!

An elderly spinster and a recently widowed man residing in a nursing home, struck up a friendship.


When the relationship blossomed, each evening the lady would visit the gentleman, he would take out his penis

and hold it in her hand for half an hour or so, then put it back in his trousers and leave.


This went on every night for about two months.


One evening, the old lady as usual went to the gentleman’s room, she was horrified to see another

woman holding his manhood in her hand, the way she used to.


The elderly lady was very upset “What has she got that I don’t have“ she asked.


“Parkinson’s Disease” the old man replied!

Mr Ching applie's for and get's a job at the local factory
Office Manager inform's him he will be in the warehouse checking supply's and he can start Monday.
Office Manager is doing his monday round's when he think's I've not seen Mr Ching.
Of he go's in search when suddenly out from behind some cardboard boxes Mr Ching jump's and yell's

SUPPLIES!!!!!!

I organised a threesome last night at mine. A couple didn't show up but I still had a good time!

Nelson Mandela's sitting at home watching the telly when there's a knock at the door,
On opening there is a little chinese man saying delivery.
Nelson looks over the mans shoulder to see car parts everywhere.
I did not order this say's Nelson.
You sign You sign says the little chinese man.
Look top of paper it say
NISSAN MAIN DEALER

Just a thought for the day: What colour would a Smurf turn if you choked it?