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#29230 - 09/22/10 04:00 PM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Callum]
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addict
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 560
Loc: Brave New World
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Statistics show the most popular sex position for married couples is doggy style. Men sit up and beg for it. Whilst the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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#29232 - 09/22/10 10:01 PM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: crabbsterMHB2804]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 07/12/08
Posts: 1766
Loc: Sweden
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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter ...Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann, 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.' He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.' At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.'
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A headbang a day keeps Beiber away.
Motörheadbanger 2125 - a real fan
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#29273 - 09/25/10 03:14 AM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Juggernaut]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 07/12/08
Posts: 1766
Loc: Sweden
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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'
The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'
The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?'
The boy said, 'Yes, she did.'
'Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.'
_________________________
A headbang a day keeps Beiber away.
Motörheadbanger 2125 - a real fan
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#29274 - 09/25/10 03:28 AM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Juggernaut]
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enthusiast
Registered: 07/10/10
Posts: 254
Loc: Jyväskylä, Finland
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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'
The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'
The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?'
The boy said, 'Yes, she did.'
'Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.' Haha Hah hah ha.....hilarious! Great joke, made my day! Reading this and listening Hatebreed....
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#29343 - 09/27/10 09:39 AM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: MHB3133]
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2773
Loc: Fife, Scotland
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I was asked to leave th local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my Speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers. I pointed out another guy in similar trunks and asked why he was not being asked to leave. Lifeguard say's "Because he hasn't shit himself!"
_________________________
!BASTARDS! - It's not just a description... It's a way of life!!!
I know what the blind man sees, On Your Feet Or On Your Knees
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#29356 - 09/27/10 12:35 PM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Callum]
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2773
Loc: Fife, Scotland
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Police came to our house earlier and said our dog had chased someone on a bike! I said "Fuck off, our dog hasn't even got a bike!"
_________________________
!BASTARDS! - It's not just a description... It's a way of life!!!
I know what the blind man sees, On Your Feet Or On Your Knees
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#29357 - 09/27/10 12:38 PM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Callum]
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2773
Loc: Fife, Scotland
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When I was young my Fairy Godmother asked me "Whats longer your penis or your memory" but I honestly can't remember what I answered!
_________________________
!BASTARDS! - It's not just a description... It's a way of life!!!
I know what the blind man sees, On Your Feet Or On Your Knees
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#29359 - 09/27/10 12:52 PM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Callum]
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2773
Loc: Fife, Scotland
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Last night I went down on my girlfriends Mum and got my tounge stud caught in her clit ring!!! Talk about panic........... I was in a right old flap.
_________________________
!BASTARDS! - It's not just a description... It's a way of life!!!
I know what the blind man sees, On Your Feet Or On Your Knees
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#29372 - 09/28/10 03:34 AM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: Callum]
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addict
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 560
Loc: Brave New World
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Why do Blokes have there best ideas during sex
Cos they're plugged into a genius
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Wooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh
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#29395 - 09/29/10 08:39 AM
Re: Joke of the day!
[Re: crabbsterMHB2804]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 07/12/08
Posts: 1766
Loc: Sweden
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A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.
As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, 'Gee, she's fat!' The mother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to be quiet. A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced; 'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'
The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line. Just then, her pager began to emit a
beep, beep, beep.
The little boy yells out, 'Run for your life, she's backing up!!
_________________________
A headbang a day keeps Beiber away.
Motörheadbanger 2125 - a real fan
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