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#35238 - 01/23/11 03:28 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Juggernaut]
Bent Arm Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 252
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Teacher says to Little Johnny........

"Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny answered.....

"Drin-king, smo-king, and fuck-king"
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A thousand nights I spent alone, solitaire to the bone
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#35242 - 01/23/11 11:46 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Bent Arm]
crabbsterMHB2804 Offline
addict

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 560
Loc: Brave New World
Well funny Bent Arm
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#35283 - 01/24/11 07:57 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: crabbsterMHB2804]
Bent Arm Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 252
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
It's late autumn and the Indians on a remote reservation in Canada asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of fucking firewood'
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A thousand nights I spent alone, solitaire to the bone
MHB3038

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#35407 - 01/27/11 07:37 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Bent Arm]
crabbsterMHB2804 Offline
addict

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 560
Loc: Brave New World
Teacher ask little chav girl to give her a sentence with the word handsome in it

She replies when i'm sucking dick my jaw sometimes aches and i have to use my handsome times
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#35439 - 01/27/11 02:00 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: crabbsterMHB2804]
Callum Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2773
Loc: Fife, Scotland
There is a new porno coming out this March. Its based on a childrens nursery rhyme. Its called Little Bo Sheep, Rammit Baw Deep!
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!BASTARDS! - It's not just a description... It's a way of life!!!

I know what the blind man sees, On Your Feet Or On Your Knees

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#35448 - 01/27/11 03:14 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Callum]
Bent Arm Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 252
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Marriage is like a deck of cards............

In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end......you'll wish you had a fucking club and a spade!
_________________________
A thousand nights I spent alone, solitaire to the bone
MHB3038

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#35546 - 01/29/11 02:17 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Bent Arm]
Jimmy B Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 01/27/11
Posts: 246
Loc: Australia
What do you call 10,000 Frenchmen holding white flags?

The Army.
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#35547 - 01/29/11 02:18 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Highway Star]
Jimmy B Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 01/27/11
Posts: 246
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: Highway Star
a mate told me this

There was a time where Herman Li (guitar player for DragonForce) was claiming that the guitar god had sent him to Earth to teach humans how to play guitar.

David Gilmour heard about this and said: "What? This is nonsense. I never sent anyone.


I enjoyed that. Dave Gilmour is unbelievable.
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Born to Lose; Live to Win.




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#35549 - 01/29/11 04:18 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Jimmy B]
crabbsterMHB2804 Offline
addict

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 560
Loc: Brave New World
When doe's a bloke know when its a bad idea to shag a fat bird

When he pull's her knickers down to her ankles and her arse is still in them.
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#35553 - 01/30/11 02:54 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: crabbsterMHB2804]
Callum Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 2773
Loc: Fife, Scotland
Tommy got kicked out of class today! The teacher asked him "If I gave you £20 and you paid £5 to Claire, £5 to Kate and £5 to Hannah, what would you have?

Apparently £3 Blowjobs and enough for a Kebab" was the wrong amswer!! confused
_________________________
!BASTARDS! - It's not just a description... It's a way of life!!!

I know what the blind man sees, On Your Feet Or On Your Knees

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