I knew that one before. It gerat, I think

well then you have a brilliant sense of humour :P haha

Man gets pissed at bar. Tries to stand up and falls down.
Drags himself outside and falls over. Drags himself home, tries to open the door and falls inside. Drags himself to bed and falls in.
Wife says in the morning " you were pissed last night werent you?"
he replies "how do you know?"
she replies "you left your wheel chair in the pub!!"

A Rhyme

Mary had a little lamb
its fur was white and whispy
Along came foot n mouth disease
and now its black and crispy

There are 3 potatoes standing on the side of the road. Which one is the slut???




The one that says "IDAHO"

How do you tell one end of a worm from the other.

Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart.

this is an old one but funny ,
a liverpool fan dies on the way to the match and gets to heaven
dressed in his liverpool kit ,st Peter meets him at the
pearly gates
''sorry mate , no liverpool fans allowed''
''what ? but i've been really good'' says the rednose
i've given £10 to cancer reseach and £10 to children in need, you've got to let me in !''
''hang on then '' says st pete ''i'll go and see the boss''
10 mins later st peter returns
''what did he say'' pleads the liverpool fan
'' here's your £20 now fuck off !!!!'' says st pete
( obviously i'm an evertonian )

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!”

… the teacher fainted!

lmao saw this on another forum...




also came across this which made me laugh:

heres a joke http://www.amazon.co.uk/Burner-Best-Moto...8927&sr=8-2

yet ANOTHER best of album!