I just found a computer That I used many many years ago, when I was just a wee lad (ahum). And on it I found this poem I had written. I felt inspired after reading Dante`s inferno. (And a few drinks & co help) I wanted to do the whole divine comedy but got sidetrack after a page.
This brings back memories. This was written before I became Motörhead for life.
Just ignore the typo`s and grammatical errors, makes it a more relaxed read.
I had died, and was glad, for this world must have surly gone mad.
My hatred towards it grew with every passing day, life was a torment,
a horror. I did not believe in a heaven, but the world i lived in was certainly a hell.
As my last breath left my body i could feel my spirit rise, Fear griped me,
for suddenly I realised that there was a afterlife.
As i approached the heavenly gates, I bowed down, hoping that I would be forgiven for my wicked ways.
Yet, my time for it was not. For i had (without knowing) obeyed the gods.
They blessed me with life once more, but only after guiding me though the afterlife.
Dear reader i shall attempt to explain what happened to me,
yet i fear that i can only fail.
O muses from up high bestow me with your divine inspirations,
so that my tale can be told
After bowing down
before heavens gates
a beer can was chucked in my face
And a raspy angelic voice proclaimed
"Get up ya cunt"
As you can imagine
i was confused by this
as the angel opened the gates
The air filled with the odor
of whiskey and tabaco
The angel continued
"Grab a beer kid, i`ve got something to show ya"
after hearing these words my
confusion turned back to fear
for maybe being arseraped by a angel
was what needed to be done to atone for my sins
The angel must have seen my expression
for he said "don`t be afraid, this is paradise
and you won`t be sodomized"
Above the gates it did indeed say "Paradise"
So i enterd this place of eternal happiness
The light was blinding
The angel, seeing my distress
handed me a pair of sunglasses
once my eyes had adjusted
i could finally see my host
"You, I recognise you!!!" I yelled
"You have blessed mankind with
your verses, there has never been
a greater musical genius that thou,
you have been a guiding light to many"
"No, i am not Lemmy, just a fan"
"Now lets continue"
We walked up a winding road
though a forest where hippies
hugged the trees and smoked
pot in VW vans
A bottle of bourbon fell from the sky
yet, when it hit the ground it did not break
a angel came down to retrieve it
when he saw me with my good guid
he spoke "hewo gwood thingg dievine
justist fowbids booz gowing to waste"
after this he waterd a tree and flew back up.
I looked up to where he was heading
and saw angels, flying crooked
for they where all pissed
some carried beer, others stronger drinks
most of them where chain smoking
I looked to my guid
and before i could ask my question
he Answered "In paradise, teeth never turn yellow
such is the power that reigns here"
And he handed me another beer
At the end of the road
we stood before a giant castle
"What is inside" i asked
"Where the hell do you think we`re
going, inside the castle off course"
I was ashamed, for i felt i had
spoken out of turn, and may have
offended my guide.
My guide opened the gates to the castle
"Behold, heavens brewery"
the brewery stretched as far as the eye
could see. The castle really seemed
much smaller from the outside.
Giaganted barrels of beer where loaded
onto a skiff
Aaaand that is all