why do farts smell?

that way, deaf people can enjoy them too.

what's yellow and goes, "cheep cheep!"?

a chinese hooker.



and what's the worst bit about a chinese hooker?

an hour later i feel like killing and eating another one.

I've had alzheimer's for as long as I can remember....

...and the best thing about having alzheimer's is that you get to meet so many new people...

the missus asked me if i ever think about her when i'm on a boys only night out

Aparrantley only to stop myself cumming to quickly was not the right answer.

A Man goes into a cake shop and says "how much is a piece of that Gattocks"?

The woman behind the counter replies "sir, that is not Gattocks, it is Gataux and it is 10 pounds a slice".

The man says "10 pounds a slice...Bollaux"

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess... “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said “NO!”

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles
And went fishing and hunting and played golf
And dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch
And had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

LOL.....

A Japaneese boy gets dumped by his girlfriend, his mate assures him "Theres plenty more people in the sea"

lol ...too soon maybe?

tragedy + time = comedy...



young fella asks his mom, "mommy, can i buy a hamster?"

"oh, don't waste your money on that", she replied. "here's £10, go buy yorself a nice irish girl."