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#53031 - 02/28/13 02:23 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Juggernaut]
TooTH MACKAY Offline
member

Registered: 12/25/12
Posts: 165
Loc: Inverness Scotland
A thought on linguistics:-
Chinese in its various dialects is spoken by about 1/5 of the worlds population makeing it the most commonly spoken language
English is used internationaly for trade and commerce
French is the language of romance
German of command
But cunnilingus is the worlds favourite tongue!


Edited by TooTH MACKAY (02/28/13 02:24 PM)
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If Lemmy knew I describe MOTORHEAD as a nice band he would be spitting plectrums !

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#53034 - 02/28/13 06:04 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: TooTH MACKAY]
John_Betong Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/19/11
Posts: 55
Loc: Bangkok, Thailand
Why didn't I get the job?


Interviewer: ...and what is your worst characteristic?

Me: Honesty sir.

Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a bad characteristic.

Me: I don't give a f@ck what you think

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#53082 - 03/03/13 02:41 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: John_Betong]
Bent Arm Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 249
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
I was watching the woman I adore getting ready for bed the other night, slowly peeling off her underwear and I thought to myself, I hope this fucking skylight doesn't give way.
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A thousand nights I spent alone, solitaire to the bone
MHB3038

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#53165 - 03/11/13 12:32 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Bent Arm]
John_Betong Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/19/11
Posts: 55
Loc: Bangkok, Thailand


Edited by John_Betong (03/11/13 12:36 AM)

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#53170 - 03/11/13 02:00 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: Juggernaut]
StacyParker Offline
stranger

Registered: 03/11/13
Posts: 5
Now that’s weird and who comes up with such stuff.

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#53177 - 03/11/13 03:01 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: StacyParker]
TooTH MACKAY Offline
member

Registered: 12/25/12
Posts: 165
Loc: Inverness Scotland
Just be glad people do my dear , just be glad!
_________________________
If Lemmy knew I describe MOTORHEAD as a nice band he would be spitting plectrums !

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#53185 - 03/12/13 10:32 AM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: TooTH MACKAY]
John_Betong Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/19/11
Posts: 55
Loc: Bangkok, Thailand

Blue Bird of Happiness. My ASS

It's Friggin' Freezing.
There's snow all the way up my ass,
all the food's covered with 3 feet of this white shit.
and you want me to sing?
What?
Anne Murrays's "Snowbird"?
Piss Off!

Next year I'm flyin' to Jamaica and smoking weed!!!



Blue Bird of Happiness



smile

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#53233 - 03/14/13 03:30 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: John_Betong]
TooTH MACKAY Offline
member

Registered: 12/25/12
Posts: 165
Loc: Inverness Scotland
The last Pope Poped off to retirment New Pope has Poped up,
Will we now get a commemmerative Pope Soap on a Rope?
_________________________
If Lemmy knew I describe MOTORHEAD as a nice band he would be spitting plectrums !

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#53294 - 03/20/13 03:21 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: TooTH MACKAY]
TooTH MACKAY Offline
member

Registered: 12/25/12
Posts: 165
Loc: Inverness Scotland
Liberals Jailed!!!!
Chris Huhne and his Mrs have been jailed for perverting the course of justice. Gone from being a banker and an MP and now rubbing shoulders with murderers , rapists, burglers etc, I just hope that pair dont have a corrupting influence and learn something useful from thier new found friends!
_________________________
If Lemmy knew I describe MOTORHEAD as a nice band he would be spitting plectrums !

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#53309 - 03/21/13 06:48 PM Re: Joke of the day! [Re: TooTH MACKAY]
Bent Arm Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 249
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he
saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been
on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.'

'Oh', said the man and pointed at one of the clocks 'Whose clock is that?'

'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved,
indicating that she never told a lie.'

'Incredible', said the man pointing again 'And whose clock is that one?'

St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only
ever moved Twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'

'Where's Jimmy Savile's clock?' asked the man.

St Peter replied, 'God has it in his office, he uses it as a ceiling fan.'
_________________________
A thousand nights I spent alone, solitaire to the bone
MHB3038

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