Rick this one works on any category of people, but here it is just for you ;-)
A fat scouser walked into a barn... One could expect him to have seen a huge building like that!
Cheers!
Right thats it!! you can all fuck off
& leave me alone!!

Aww don't be like that, look at the little doggie from the Liverpool dog show this weekend, he'll cheer you up.
http://i1177.photobucket.com/albums/x344/Motorfeet/LiverpoolDogshow_zps310dd64e.jpg